So, you would like to be able to sit with your emotions without needing to numb - right? Not sure where to start? Expansion happens in the moment of activation - follow this guide to create your own practice.
To expand your window of tolerance you must find your choice point, in the moments when you're experiencing emotional overwhelm. > > There will be a conscious moment when you realize you have the choice in how you navigate this experience. You have the choice in what you provide for yourself - comfort, support, compassion and meeting your needs or numbing with your usual agent because feeling these emotions is too much. These moments of choice are important and what you do with them is up to you.
There is a trigger in your environment and an activation has happened within your body. Now what?
1. Take a deep breath and feel your hands on a part of your body or your clothes.
2. Remind yourself you have choice in the direction this moment goes. Acknowledge you are outside your window of tolerance.
3. Take physical and mental space > try not to think about the circumstances in this space. This time is for your emotional body to process. TIP: it's a valuable idea to come up with language to excuse yourself for space before you're in an activated moment, so you have the verbiage ready on hand when you need it.
4. Validate and hold your emotions and experience > a helpful tool to use during this time is a guided meditation and deep belly breathing. An APP I love for this - Insight Timer
5. Stay in this space until your emotional body has shifted and released
6. Meet your needs in the moment - ask yourself - "what needs are calling to be seen? whats going on for me on a deeper level? Do I feel heard? Do I feel like I belong and am accepted in this moment?"
7. Reconnect with your environment and the people in it. If it feels appropriate self-responsibly share your experience and needs with those involved in the activation moment.
Take these steps as a guide in creating your own guide to expanding your window of tolerance.